Im gonna catch heat for this one. - Jokes - General Bullshit Forums

Im gonna catch heat for this one.

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Posted: 11-07-2007 13:30

dong
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swedishvix wrote:

Good picture!

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Posted: 11-07-2007 14:23

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DC
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Road Knight Prez wrote: unit827 wrote: I want to talk about the mint flavor --- I thought most women prefured lemon or strawberry :lol:

lemon goes with fish..... :lol:

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Posted: 11-07-2007 14:33

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dong
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OH OH You better Run :rotflmao

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Posted: 11-07-2007 14:52

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DC
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Ok heres one aimed towards men

Q: Why did the man cross the road?

A: He heard the chicken was a slut.

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Posted: 11-07-2007 15:21

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dong
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I dont think thats going to save your ass :rotflmao

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Posted: 11-07-2007 16:14

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unit827
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Well SHIT!!

I was gonna say 'cos there was free beer and lap dancing on the other side! I know that is about the only thing that would get me to cross the damn road! (Female lap dancing that is! Seems like here lately, a person has to be explicit in what he says!

)

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Posted: 11-07-2007 16:37

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DC
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Why do men come home drunk and leave their clothes on the floor?

Because they are in them.

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Posted: 11-07-2007 16:39

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DC
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ok enough with those for now...

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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Posted: 11-07-2007 16:40

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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

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Posted: 11-07-2007 16:40

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DC
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. :lol:

I found this on another site and I really like that saying.

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Posted: 11-07-2007 20:08

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swedishvix
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MEN'S GUIDE TO SELECTING THEIR CLOTHES

We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys will pretty much wear anything, anytime, with anything. This creates the false impression that guys just "throw" any old thing on. This however is not the case. As this handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly complex and organized ritual for men.

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Forgive your enemies, it pisses them off.

Fuck that, Torture them, it's much more satisfying!!!!!

Posted: 11-07-2007 20:19

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dong
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Yep thats just about right :lol:

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Fucking Christmas.

Posted: 11-07-2007 20:20

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swedishvix
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females)

1. Combatting Stupidity
2. You, Too, Can Do Housework
3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
4. How to Fill an Ice Tray
5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money
6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am
7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")
8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception
9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook
10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong
11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right
12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13. You: The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to Give Flowers
15. How to Stay Awake in Public
16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb
18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try
19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower
20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please
21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet")
22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms
23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull
24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost
25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex
27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes
28. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too
29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home
30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
31. Seeing the True You (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked")
32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works
33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary
34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary
35. Techniques for calling home

And to be fair, the flip side is here!

SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males)

1. Elementary Map Reading
2. Crying and Law Enforcement
3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
4. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours
5. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
6. The Seven-Outfit Week
7. PMS:It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine ("It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With it")
8. Driving I:Getting Past Automatic Transmissions
9. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights
10. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed
11. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water
12. Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament
13. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You")
14. How to Earn Your Own Money
15. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")
16. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
17. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
18. Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station
19. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
20. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
21. His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too
22. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
23. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock")
24. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"
25. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
26. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?

____________________
Forgive your enemies, it pisses them off.

Fuck that, Torture them, it's much more satisfying!!!!!

Last edited on 11-07-2007 20:21 by swedishvix

Posted: 11-07-2007 20:20

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swedishvix
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Last edited on 11-07-2007 20:21 by swedishvix

____________________
Forgive your enemies, it pisses them off.

Fuck that, Torture them, it's much more satisfying!!!!!

Posted: 11-07-2007 20:38

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swedishvix
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Someone please explain to me why a man will call me from in front of my house & when asked "are you in the Red Camero in front of my house" says "no, I am in my truck". I can obviously see him & picked up the phone in anticipation of him calling. I see him drive away while still talking to me on the phone.

Does he think I am THAT Stupid? :wtf:

Also, why can't a man take NO as NO!
This is starting to piss me off. :gun:

____________________
Forgive your enemies, it pisses them off.

Fuck that, Torture them, it's much more satisfying!!!!!